Mullah Nasrudin the Calvinist

This post was written by admin on July 18, 2010
Posted Under: Mullah Nasrudin

Most of these Mullah Nasrudin stories I remember from my childhood. I heard them in Iran from oral traditions. I recreated them from my memory into English (not translation but recreation since I do not always remember the original Persian stories). Others I have got from a few Persian books I have gathered over the years (whenever my family visits Iran and asks me what they can bring me I ask for any Mullah Nasrudin books they can find) and also from the wonderful books of Idris Shah.

A few stories I have made up myself based on the fact that Nasrudin has the function of showing up human stupidity or paradoxes of language and the facts of human existence.

To understand this story you have to know that some religions believe in predestination. This is taken to its logical extreme (stupidity if I dare write) in Calvinism. The Calvinists believe that the “elect” have been predestined to receive grace and hence be saved and hte rest of us have been predestined to be damned to hell no matter what we do.

And now for:

Mullah Nasrudin the Calvinist

Mullah Nasrudin emigrated to the USA and much to his Chagrin he ended up living next door to an evangelical Christian. Nasrudin minded his own business and faced Mecca five times a day saying his prayers without trying to convert anyone. His neighbor however would visit him every single day telling him about the mercy and generosity of his God and how he should believe in Jesus as his personal savior, else he would spend eternity in hell.

Nasrudin each day would reply that he believed in the one God of Adam, Abraham, Moses, Jesus and Mohammad and he was satisfied that his good deeds would serve him well at end of times. The neighbor went on and on explaining that his deeds could never save him but would condemn him to firs and brimstone as only faith in Jesus as his personal savior could save him.

This went on for six months and then one day Nasrudin greeted his neighbor, “Good friend I have great news for you. I have become a Christian. I have accepted Jesus as my personal savior.”

The neighbor replied, “I’m so glad you have seen the light but what I don;t understand is why are you still turning to Mecca and praying in your infidel ways.”

Nasrudin replied, “You see, my friend, I have become a Calvinist and we believe that God predestines some to be saved and te rest to be damned. Alas I’m not one of the elect. I am predestined to go to hell. So I’m making sure that I do God’s will by praying in my heathen ways so I will go to hell.”

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