Time to wake up

Wife to husband: “Time to wake up. Get up! Get up!”
Husband: “Go away, I’m sleeping!”
Wife: “Come on we need to go to the Church.”
Husband: “I don’t feel like it.”
Wife: “Please, we need to go to the Church.”
Husband: “I don’t want to go to the Church. I don’t like any one there and no one likes [...]

We’re only haggling

This teaching story is ascribed to the English play write and wit George Bernard Shaw.
One night Bernard Shaw was at a party and he notices this stuck up pretty young debutant giggling here and giggling there. He approaches her and says, "Will you sleep with me if I give you two pounds?"

The debutant slaps Shaw [...]

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